. I'll bet you alsoknow the wish I make every time I do my makeup." Yes, and don't worry, I've felt that one come to me from thousands ofcrossdressers over the ages. You wish you could be beautiful! And I canhelp you with that."This time, I shivered a LOT. The wizard seemed to be offering me mygreatest desire! But I've read those stories over and over, and wasconcerned (no, scared) about what the costs might be.I tried to regain my composure and act businesslike. "Can you tell mewhat you can do for me, and what it will cost, and, well, how much itmight change me and my life? Fact is, I have a great life! I love mywife, enjoy my job and my home, I've got a 401(k) plan, and really amhappy."The wizard thought a moment. "Yes, I'm aware of all that. So explain tome, if you could get exactly what you wanted here at my shop, whatwould that be?"It didn't take me long. "It's simple, really. When I change into Dana,I just wish I became really beautiful. I wish my hair was real, my facewas. You’re a creep.”Danny sighed and then said, “I suppose Rupert Everett was right when he said, ‘I don’t think kids should have role models. They’re disastrous.’ On the other hand, maybe I should have selected a better role model than Matt Dillon.”Mrs. Elrich asked, “Is Danny harassing you, Debbie?”“He’s quoting people again,” Debbie said.“Stop quoting people, Danny.”“I’ll try. As Carolyn Gold Heilbrun said, ‘Quoting, like smoking, is a dirty habit to which I am devoted.’ I’m sure that you can appreciate that it’s tough breaking bad habits.”“Would you like to visit Principal Bell?”“No. Actually, I was hoping that we could drop the subject of whether I’m creepy or not. I’d like to find out how we’re guilty of stealing something that we bought. That is a far more interesting topic of discussion.”“We’ll start with the facts,” she said. “Do you have a problem with that?”Danny said, “No. I think that’s a great idea. As Mark Twain said, ‘Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you.
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